Lady Khadijah … The Unsung Heroine

Lady Khadijah is a woman who we have many fruitful lessons to learn from her life. There are different aspects of her character that each need a multi-volume book to write, let alone a small article.

Her life was rich with moral lessons from which today's husbands and wives irrespective of their race, faith and geographical locations are in dire need to adopt and embrace.

Her life before adopting Islam was also an exemplar to follow and her lifestyle was of that kind women in the 21st century ought to imitate.

Her upright character made the people of her clan call her at-Tahirah; an Arabic adjective meaning the 'chaste' or the 'pure'. Her morals as a widow were much more admired by the men of her clan, and her business was the talk of the town.

Admirable Businesswoman

Khadijah was a very wealthy lady, and all the men of her clan were keen to marry her.
Khadijah was a highly respectable business woman in her clan.

She was a very wealthy lady, and all the people of her clan were keen to marry her because of her family status and thriving business; a fact she was clever enough to realize, and hence she never succumbed to their material wishes.

In other words, she was wise enough to know her qualities and hence was better able to choose her suitable match away from any clannish pressure. Due to her inability as a single woman to travel long distances on her own in the desert trading in her properties, Khadijah used to hire men from her clan to trade in her business and to travel with her trading caravans to the Levant; purchasing and selling different commodities.

At that time, Muhammad (peace be upon him) was known for his honesty and truthfulness among the whole clan, and these good manners were the main reasons behind Khadijah's decision to hire him to trade in her business, and later on to choose him as a husband and a soul mate.

Indeed, the thriving business of lady Khadijah and her strategic planning in hiring the right man to trade in her business is an eternal lesson from which modern women ought to imitate in the course of their tired attempts in finding women champions from whose examples and rich experiences many lessons can be drawn.

The simplicity of Khadijah's example here is something that can not pass unnoticed not only by Muslim women but by non-Muslims as well.

It Began with Business and Ended up in Marriage

Khadijah offered Muhammad a job to trade in her business on her behalf. Muhammad, on his part, showed remarkable success in his new job because of the transparency he adopted in his trading job with the business lady, and his experience in the field as a tradesman who successfully led many business trips to the Levant.

In her business trips, Khajidah appointed Maysarah (one of her servants) as an assistant to Muhammad in his new job, and through talking to her servant, she was assured of Muhammad's transparency and honesty in handling her business.

It is no wonder after all to see Khadijah talking to her lady friend, Nafisah, about her interest in Muhammad. Nafisah went straight to the Prophet and implicitly mentioned lady Khadijah. The Prophet got so interested and decided to ask for her hand in marriage.

Now, the prestigious and high-born lady is offering herself in marriage after she became pretty sure that this person she is proposing to marry will never think of her as a rich businesswoman, but as a woman worthy of company and warm marriage relationship.

It is an aspect of Khadijah's character worthy of contemplation and remembrance. It is a moral lesson for both non-Muslims and new Muslims to learn from and adopt in their daily lives.

A very prestigious lady offering to marry a man who once used to trade in her business after she has tested his manners and character. What a moral lesson worthy of contemplation in today's life where marriages have turned into business deals and where real love is becoming rare.

Once she found her perfect match, Khadijah was not hesitant to offer herself and unfold her love in a dignified manner that, although was not quite common among her people, but still it was very respectable.

The happy couple, Muhammad and Khadijah, concluded the marriage ceremony and it has been narrated that Muhammad offered Khadijah a dowry worthy of her respectable status in that time. The happy couple moved forward until a turning point in their lives took place.

Indeed, Muhammad-Khadijah's marriage here is a telling example on its own of how far Islam empowers women to select their suitable matches while being free from any family pressure and worn-out traditions that in many times stand as stumbling blocks in the face of happy marriages.

Here, Khadijah chose her 'Mr. Right' on her own using sound criteria that although somewhat driven by human inclinations but yet has its undeniable and fair share of a marriage choice that is mainly based on reason and rationale.

Selecting her partner herself is an experience girls in 21st century can benefit from once they apply the same rules their head figure Khadijah once followed.

Khadijah: The First Female Muslim

Soon after getting married, Muhammad was ordered by God to carry out his duty as a Messenger to the whole of mankind.

It was in the Cave Hira' that he received the first revelation. It might be out of context to mention the minute details of how and when Muhammad received the revelation, but what matters here is how his beloved wife Khadijah comforted and reassured him when he returned home after he received the first divine revelation.

"God will never forsake you. You extend ties of kinship, say the truth, help the weak."

- Said Khadijah to Prophet Muhammad.
Trembling of awe as a result of the revelation he received, Muhammad returned home, and told his wife what happened. Hearing him, she comforted his soul with outstanding courage saying:

'By God, He will never forsake you. You extend ties of kinship, say the truth, help the weak, show generosity to guests, and strive hard to apply justice.'

We haven't witnessed a woman ever assuring her husband in the same way Khadijah did. She managed to reassure her husband in the right time and she instantly sought practical ways to achieve that by visiting her cousin Waraqah who had knowledge of the People of the Book.

Later on, Waraqah appeased Muhammad's heart that this experience he witnessed is shared only by Prophets and Messengers of God. It has been reported that Khadijah was the first to proclaim her Islam.

She embraced Islam with no introduction or even a brief inquiry about the new religion. The word hesitation finds no place in her dictionary after she had witnessed her husband granted the honor of divine revelation directly from God.

It is really rare to trace back how she became a Muslimah, but a great number of Muslim historians state that she was the first member from among both men and women to declare faith in Allah and His Messenger.

Others state that she was the first female to adopt Islam. This latter view is the most famous one and it is the one followed by the greatest majority of Muslims. Khadijah lived as a very loyal and supporting wife to her husband (i.e. Muhammad) for more than nine years after the beginning of the revelation. She supported the Islamic mission with her money and was a source of comfort for her husband.

She respected her husband's meditations before the revelations were sent to him, and later she supported him as a leader in his community.

It is through this attitude of Khadijah that modern women, irrespective of their faith, race, or location can draw fruitful lessons taking Khadijah's way of treatment to Muhammad as an exemplar.

Modern women, who at many times tend to start a perfect life may yearn to have a luxurious lifestyle and once they face the hardship of reality, they may fail to face the first test. Hence, learning from the heroine figure of Khadijah is necessary. She stood behind her husband in his stressful moments, shared his sorrow before his happiness, bore his burden before enjoying the moments of ease together.

Muhammad's Love to Khadijah

Khadijah's Islam alleviated Muhammad's suffering, and assured him the tranquility he was in need of at home. Khadijah played a great role in granting her husband the necessary courage he had to adopt in order to face both physical and psychological sufferings as a result of his divine mission.

It is a role today's modern wives ought to learn from Khadijah in order to help their husbands cope with modern challenges that threat the institution of family and threaten to target its very roots.

Muhammad remained loyal to Khadijah a long time after her death, and it has been reported that he called the year she died as the 'Year of Grief.'

He used to praise her a lot in the presence of his other wives to the extent that his wife 'Aishah said: "I have never felt jealous from any woman except Khadijah."

The Prophet used to mention her qualities a lot saying: "She (Khadijah) believed in me while others rejected my call. She affirmed my truthfulness when people called me a liar. She spent her wealth to lighten the burden of my sorrow when others had forsaken me." (At-Tirmidhi) Muhammad even continued to honor her friends a long time after her death as a sign of showing gratitude to her.

The Beloved Wife Passing Away

According to some Muslim historians, Khadijah died during the month of Ramadan before the year of Muhammad's emigration to Madinah on the 'Year of Grief.'

Muhammad was badly affected as a result of his wife's death and it has been reported that he said while seeing his beloved dying: "How heavy it is on myself to see such a scene."

He stayed many days in his home overwhelmed by sadness for the death of Khadijah, the loyal and obedient wife with whom he stayed twenty five years in love, dedication, patience, and commitment.

Finally, Khadijah's story of adopting Islam as a religion and as a way of life remains a new living story from which men and women will continue to have spiritual provision along the course of centuries.

Khadijah is a telling example by herself as a non-believing lady who lived by morals and principles, as a wife who stood by her husband in difficult times, as a believer who showed no hesitation to accept the truth, and as a supporter to her new belief with different forms of personal sacrifices. Her example is one worthy of contemplation and imitation by young women in our modern societies.



References

Al-Dhahabi, 'Uthman bin Ahmad bin Muhammad (d. 748 A.H), Siyar 'A'lam Al-Nubala', Mu'assasat al-Risalah, Beirut, 9th edition, 1413 A.H, p. 111.

Ajiri, ibn al-Hussein Muhammad Abi Bakr (d. 360 A.H), Al-Shari'ah, Dar al-Watan, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, 1999, 2nd edition, P. 2188, 2189 (Chapter Title: The Merits of Khadijah Mother of the Believers).

Al-Maqdisi, Tahir bin Mutahhir (d. 507 A.H), Al-Bad' Wa At-Tareekh, Maktabat al-Thaqafah al-'Arabiyyah, Egypt (Port Said City), Volume 5, p. 71.

Al-Nuwairi, 'Abdul-Wahhab Ahmad Shihabuddin (d. 733 A.H), Nihayat al-'Irab Fi Funun al-Adab, Dar al-Kutub al-'Ilmiyyah, Beirut, Lebanon, 1st edition, 2004, Volume 16, p. 197 (Chapter Title: Death of the Prophet's Wife Khadijah, may Allah be pleased with her).

Al-Salihi, Yusuf bin Muhammad (d. 942 A.H), Subul al-Huda Wa al-Rashad Fi Sirat Khayr al-'Ibad, Dar al-Kutub al-'Ilmiyyah, Beirut, 1st edition, 1414 A.H, Volume 2, p. 300.

Ibn Katheer, Ismael ibn 'Umar, Al-Bidayah Wa al-Nihayah, Maktabat al-Ma'arif, Beirut. P. 27, 28 (Chapter Title: The Early Companions to Adopt Islam)

El-Sayed Amin is currently a PhD candidate in Islamic studies at the University of Birmingham, UK. He is also a lecturer at the Islamic Studies Department in English at Al-AzharUniversity. Amin formerly worked as a Shari`ah editor at IslamOnline.net where he used to write articles on Islam and its relation to other religions. He can be reached at: EMA625@bham.ac.uk.

Just to Be With You

The Prophet's Second Wife: Lady Sawdah

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) married Sawdah bint Zamah a short while after the death of his first and most beloved wife, Khadijah, with whom he shared a very happy 25 years of his blessed life.

Sawdah was a mature woman, around 40 years of age, and a mother of five children. This marriage gave Sawdah an uplift in her life, for she had been mourning her husband, Al-Sakran ibn Amr.

He had died soon after the couple had returned from Abyssinia, where a number of the Prophet's Companions had gone a few years earlier to establish a second base for Islam, away from the persecution in Makkah.

She was now married to God's Messenger, who was renowned for his fine character and compassion, in addition to the great qualities that fitted him to be the recipient of God's final message to mankind.

Scholars and writers about the Prophet and his character often explain his marriages in terms of different needs: some political, others social, and some even legislative. While such reasons were certainly present in many of his marriages, they are not the overriding reasons for any.

Each of his marriages expressed a desire to be united with the lady in question. In Sawdah's case, we read explanations that he wanted to compensate her for the loss of her husband.

The fact is that the Prophet needed a new wife after Khadijah had passed away, and the qualities he needed in his new wife were maturity, kindness, and being a believer in his message. Sawdah answered all these. She was the one to take care of his two unmarried daughters, Umm Kulthoom and Fatimah.

Dealing With Jealousy

We see some aspects of Sawdah's maturity in the fact that when other wives came into the Prophet's home and jealousies surfaced between them, leading to the emergence of two camps, Sawdah did not join either group. She remained loyal to her husband, giving him all that he needed of love and care.

Nor did she ever express, in word or gesture, any feeling of jealousy when she realized that the Prophet's heart leaned toward a particular one of his wives.

On the contrary, we see her rising to the sublime as she realized that the Prophet's heart favored Aishah above all others, but he had to maintain fairness between all his wives.

He would not allow himself to give Aishah an hour more than he would give every one of his other wives. Therefore, in her eagerness to please the Prophet, Sawdah made a gift of her nights to Aishah. This was a voluntary gift, motivated only by her desire to please her husband.

Thus, every time it was Sawdah's turn, the Prophet would visit her in the evening before going to spend the rest of the night at Aishah's place.

Sawdah's action speaks much about her character. She was a woman who loved to be kind to others, and enjoyed giving them what pleases them.

She wished to remain married to the Prophet and always be remembered by Muslims throughout the world as a "mother of all believers" as his wives earned this title.

At the same time, she wanted to give greater pleasure to her husband and the one whom he loved most among his wives. Hence, her gift that became a model for any woman who lovingly wishes to forego some of her rights in order to please her husband.

Sawdah died toward the end of the reign of the second Caliph, Umar ibn Al Khattab, about ten years after the Prophet had passed away.

Adil Salahi is the Executive Director of Al-Furqan Heritage Foundation. He teaches Islamic Studies at the Markfield Institute of Higher Education, Leicester, England. After working for the BBC Arabic Service for several years, he worked for the Arabic daily, al-Sharq al-Awsat. He continues to publish a column, "Islam in Perspective", in its sister publication, Arab News, an English daily published in Saudi Arabia. He has produced an English translation of several volumes of Sayyid Qutb's commentary, In the Shade of the Quran (Leicester, Islamic Foundation), as well as several other books on Islamic subjects.

Moments of Married Love… The Untold Story

Prophet Muhammad & Lady Aishah

We all have a certain image of lovers, a star-crossed pair, love at first sight, living happily ever after…

Normally, we associate these ideas of love with couples who meet, date, and fall head over heels for each other. Very rarely do we relate these images to married couples.

Moreover, we almost never connect this perception to Muslim couples, who marry according to purely Islamic customs. Although this link is quite rare, there actually exists an example in Islam's own history, which not only depicts this kind of love but goes far beyond it.

This is the pure, married love between the Prophet Muhammad and his beloved, Lady Aishah.

The two came together in circumstances that are a stark contrast to today's conventional love story. He was a devoted Messenger of God, embarking on the third year of prophethood; she was the daughter of his best friend and companion, Abu Bakr.

Infusing Romance

The early years of their marriage began quite innocently. Although Aishah was a young bride, she was in the standard marriageable age that the Arabian culture approved of and encourages at that time.

The clear evidence is that Aishah had already been engaged to another man before her engagement to the Prophet.

Though Aishah was ready for marriage life, the Prophet preferred to grant her extra support in her transition to life as a married woman. She carried on with the many joys of childhood and fortunate for her, as she had a husband gentle and kind enough to understand this.

Rather than throwing all the responsibilities of a wife on her at once, the Prophet made the marriage and its duties a gradual process for Aishah and ensured that she made a smooth transition into her new life. The compassionate nature with which he nurtured Aishah in her early years as a wife made a tremendous impact on the strong woman she went on to become.

As the so called "honeymoon period" between the couple came to an end, many challenges and trying moments began to arise. In the midst of all the mayhem, this blessed couple still took time out for simple fun and laughter.

Aishah fondly recalls memories of racing with the Prophet and even winning the race when she was young and fit (Ibn Al Jawzy 68).

They enjoyed these races so much that the couple even raced to the Battle of Badr which was one of the most important battles in the Islamic history.

The romance in this marriage was not limited to just fun and games. As their marriage continued, intimacy was ultimately inter-woven in their daily affairs.

They would sit and eat together and Aishah would take a sip and then the Prophet would do so from the same spot her lips touched.

She would have some meat or chicken, and then he would eat from the same spot she ate from. This is just one of many ways they infused romance and affection in even the simplest of acts. These small gestures show that in this marriage, romance was not a superficial bouquet of roses. Rather, it was natural and existed in their everyday life.

Love has several expressions. However, it is known to all and sundry that for a woman, nothing expresses love like the words a man simply speaks from his heart.

The Prophet was most forthcoming in expressing his love for Aishah and this is evident in multiple sayings (hadith) in which he publicly declares that Aishah is the most beloved to him.

Such profound love he held for his wife that he referred to her as one with the complete qualities of a believing woman. This is a clear sign of the kind of respect he held for his wife.

This respect was possible because he actually put forth the time and effort in getting to know and understand his wife enough to recommend her as an example for other women to follow.

Brilliant Student & Great Teacher

A crucial dimension to their equation was the student-teacher relationship they shared. Aishah's enthusiastic and inquisitive nature made her one of the foremost students of the Prophet.

Sent as a teacher to mankind, the Prophet implemented this role most effectively in his very own home. The Islamic virtues and way of life Aishah learned and carried out were essentially through watching the Prophet and keenly observing his behavior and mannerisms.

He led by example and his beloved wife testifies to this in stating that the manners of the prophet were a living example of the Quran. (At-Tirmidhi)

Far from being meek and oppressed, Aishah was a woman of substance who was never afraid to stand up for truth and justice — whether that meant defending herself or her beloved husband. She participated in battles when she was able to and played whatever role she could in supporting the Prophet in his endeavors.

Surviving Hardships

Her quality of being content regardless of circumstances helped her overcome many challenges she faced as the Prophet's wife.

There was a time in the Prophet's home, when they had no fire or food for cooking and they simply lived off of dates and water. Yet Aishah went through this hardship and showed the mark of a true companion — one who can offer unrelenting support even under the most trying circumstances.

A truly dynamic woman, complete with the qualities of virtue, intelligence and even possessiveness over her husband — there was something quite distinct about Aishah which drew the Prophet so close to her.

Passing On Her Husband's Legacy

The Prophet and his beloved connected as soul mates, as he received divine revelations often when he was with her. The fact that God blessed and ordained this marriage is evident in that the Prophet confessed to Aishah that before marrying her, he saw her twice in his dreams.

Both times, Angel Gabriel carried her to him in a silk cloth and said to him, that Aishah would be his wife in this world and in the Hereafter (Al-Bukhari). Their blessed companionship came to a peaceful end after nine years, when the Prophet drew his last breath in Aishah's arms.

The Prophet's demise may have ended their companionship in this world. However, it did not put a stop to his mission nor did it end Aishah's role in carrying out her beloved's message.

It was after the Prophet's demise that one can truly see the divine purpose behind this marriage. Because she spent the most formative years of her life with the Prophet, she was able to learn and imbibe all of his teachings.

This became a tremendous asset after the Messenger passed away and was only possible because of Aishah's age. Upon his demise, Aishah's youth gave her the capacity to continue to preach Islam's message for the many years she lived thereafter.

Many companions of the Prophet and new followers of Islam would come to Lady Aishah for advice on various Islamic matters. Her contribution in relating numerous sayings of the Prophet and providing clarification on questions related to faith soon catapulted her to the status of a prominent Islamic scholar.

Aishah's role in this marriage was one that God destined in order to ensure that the teachings of Islam will be successfully transmitted to coming generations even after the Prophet passed away.

The love story between the Prophet Muhammad and Lady Aishah may not be what epic romances are made of, but it certainly provides a more realistic perception of how true love can be found within a marriage.

The sole purpose of marriage in Islam is to fulfill an individual's need for companionship and true love. Islam emphasizes and encourages this fulfillment but only within the bond of marriage.

The Prophet's marriage to Aishah shows that intimacy and romance is not necessarily limited to rosy-eyed young dating couples. This blessed couple exemplified that the true love and companionship we all seek, is entirely possible within marriage and moreover, within the Islamic way of life.

Today, this is a marriage which many may choose to slander or demean. Yet one needs only to take a look at the evidence Prophet Muhammad and Lady Aishah left behind, in the form of numerous sayings they related, which testify so dearly to the love and intimacy they shared.

The most famous love stories in this world are those that were a figment of someone's imagination. Yet this is a love which actually existed. It was a love created and destined by God himself.

Works Cited
Ibn AlJawzy, Gamal Aldin. Safwat Al Safwah Vol. I.
Ural, Ali. "AISHAH: Lover of the Beloved." Accessed 30 Mar. 2008.
Webb, Suhaib. Mothers of the Believers: Lives of the Wives of Prophet Muhammad.

Majida Islam Khan is Bangladeshi-American. She recently completed her Bachelor's degree in International Relations and now resides in the United Kingdom while pursuing volunteer work in the fields of Human Rights and Islamic Studies.She can be contacted at : mjkhan07@yahoo.com

When You Shine Through Tears

Lady Umm Salamah

Umm Salamah, whose name was Hind bint Abu Umayyah ibn Al-Mugheerah, was a woman who combined beauty with character, noble birth and a wealth of experience. Her deceased husband was one of the early converts to the new faith when Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) began preaching his message in secret.

Both Umm Salamah and her husband, Abdullah ibn Abd Al-Asad, were among the very early Muslims. Her husband was a cousin of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). His mother was Arwa bint Abd Al-Muttalib, the Prophet's paternal aunt. Both husband and wife were in the first batch of Muslim immigrants to Abyssinia.

Being a woman of sagacious mind, she joined him in declaring her belief in Islam, realizing that idolatry is an absurdity, which defies human logic. Her father was a man who earned great honor in his own right.

He was given the nickname Zad Al-Rakb, which means the "provider for all travellers." When he went on a trip, he would not allow anyone who joined his caravan to take any food with him. He provided all the food necessary for them all. His generosity and hospitality was of the highest order.

It is well known that the Prophet first preached his message in secret for three years. When he later went public, he met very strong opposition. In the fifth year of his message, the Prophet advised a section of his followers to immigrate to Abyssinia.

All sources recording the events of the Prophet's life treat this immigration as one of weak and vulnerable elements fleeing from persecution. The fact that Abu Salamah and his wife were among the first to immigrate, and that most immigrants belonged to distinguished families who enjoyed influential positions in Makkah disproves this claim.

These were people who feared no physical or mental persecution. They could easily defend themselves and their clans were certain to come to their support. The immigration to Abyssinia had a different goal.

The Prophet wanted his Companions to leave Makkah and go to Abyssinia for two objectives. The first was reducing tension in Makkah, where the unbelievers began to view his new faith as a threat to their established way of life.

The second was to demonstrate the universal nature of Islam by establishing a new base for it in a totally different social environment. The immigrants returned at different times, some staying only a few months while those who were the last to return spent no less than 15 years in Abyssinia.

We cannot pinpoint a date when Umm Salamah and her husband returned from Abyssinia, but their stay did not last more than three or four years. Their first son, Salamah, was born there.

They returned in order to be with the Prophet supporting him in his struggle to make the divine message known to people and call on them to believe in God and accept Islam.

Yet the hostility of the people of Makkah grew more fierce and determined. They ridiculed the Prophet and his teachings. They suppressed the new faith; prevented travelers who visited Makkah from meeting the Prophet or listening to him; tortured the weaker elements in the Muslim community; brought various types of pressure to bear on Muslims of noble descent; imposed a social boycott of all those who lent tribal support to the Prophet and even plotted to kill him.

The Prophet, however, continued his efforts undeterred by the strong opposition he encountered.

Ultimately, the message of Islam began to find a new home in Yathrib, which was later to be known as Madinah. New recruits were won every day and almost every family in Madinah found one or more of its members declaring their belief in Islam.

Within two years, the Muslims of Madinah felt that they could no longer allow the Prophet and their brethren in Makkah to continue to face all that hostility.

Therefore, they invited them to come over to them where they would have the most welcoming reception. The Prophet accepted the pledge of total support given by the Muslims of Madinah, and he told his companions in Makkah to start their exodus.

The immigration of Umm Salamah and her husband took place, but her husband died shortly after it.

Such a woman would not stay unmarried for long. The fact that she had four children, one of them was still newly born, was no hindrance in the Arabian society, which accepted polygamy as normal.

Hence, when her waiting period of four months and ten days was over, a succession of suitors sent their proposals. These included Abu Bakr and Umar, but Umm Salamah politely and gently rejected them all. She had lost a husband of great character, whom she dearly loved.

She reports that her husband had told her of a hadith he heard the Prophet stating:

"Whoever meets a misfortune should resort to what God has ordered in such cases, saying, 'We all belong to God and to Him we all return. My Lord! Grant me support in my misfortune and compensate me with something better.'

"If he does so, God will certainly give him support and is sure to give him better compensation."

Continuing her report, she said: "When my husband died, I frequently said this prayer. Then I thought who could be better for me than Abu Salamah? Yet I hoped that God would give me support to bear my loss." (Muslim)

A different report mentions that before his death, her husband said this prayer: "My Lord! When I have died, give Umm Salamah a man who is better than me, who would take care of her and give her nothing to upset her or cause her grief."

When her husband died, she wondered who could be better than him.

Yet this is exactly what happened to Umm Salamah. After rejecting a succession of suitors, she received an offer of marriage no Muslim woman could refuse. It was the Prophet who wanted her to join his household as a new wife.

Recognizing the great honor such a marriage would give her, she was delighted. Yet at the same time she felt reluctant. She sent him word saying: "I am too jealous, and old, and I am mother of several children."

It was an answer that meant no refusal, but provided grounds for the Prophet not to proceed with his proposal. The Prophet sent her a kind reply saying: "God may take away your jealousy. As for your age, I am older than you. And you may entrust your children to God and His Messenger."

Who could take better care of any widow's children than God? Who could be a better stepfather than God's Messenger? Hence, the marriage was soon celebrated and Umm Salamah realized that God had compensated her with a husband who was much better than her first husband, great indeed as Abu Salamah was.

- This article was republished with the kind permission of arabnews.com

Adil Salahi is the Executive Director of Al-Furqan Heritage Foundation. He teaches Islamic Studies at the Markfield Institute of Higher Education, Leicester, England. After working for the BBC Arabic Service for several years, he worked for the Arabic daily, al-Sharq al-Awsat. He continues to publish a column, "Islam in Perspective", in its sister publication, Arab News, an English daily published in Saudi Arabia. He has produced an English translation of several volumes of Sayyid Qutb's commentary, In the Shade of the Quran (Leicester, Islamic Foundation), as well as several other books on Islamic subjects.

Setting Her Own Standards

Lady Hafsah, Prophet Muhammad's wife

Ever since he embraced Islam, Umar ibn Al-Khattab was a most remarkable and dedicated advocate of the new faith. A man with clear and direct vision, Umar could always come up with sensible ideas to sort out difficult questions.

As a close companion of Prophet Muhammad, he always advocated direct action, reflecting strong commitment to the cause. The same sort of attitude could only be expected in his private life.

Umar's daughter, Hafsah, was married to Khunays ibn Hudhafah, who adopted Islam in its early years and was among those who immigrated to Abyssinia in response to the Prophet's advice.

After rejoining the Muslim community in Madinah, Khunays took part in the first two major battles the Muslims fought at Badr and Uhud. In the second of these, he was badly injured and died soon afterward, leaving behind his young wife, Hafsah, who was perhaps in her early twenties.

Looking at his daughter's misfortune, Umar thought that he should find her a good husband. He thought of his friend, Abu Bakr, as he knew him to be wise, caring and most dedicated to the Islamic cause.

The fact that Abu Bakr was ten years older than him was not a point of issue with Umar. He knew that Abu Bakr would take good care of Hafsah.

Therefore, Umar went to him and spoke about her and his concern for her wellbeing. Abu Bakr listened attentively, perhaps guessing Umar's drift. Umar, however, soon made his purpose clear, saying to his friend: "I will give you Hafsah in marriage if you wish to take her."

Perhaps Umar could not foresee that his proposal would not be met with ready acceptance. Yet Abu Bakr remained silent. To Umar, that was baffling. Therefore, the conversation ended and Umar left, feeling rather upset.

His daughter's future happiness remained his main preoccupation. Therefore, he went to Uthman, who had suffered the loss of his own wife around 18 months earlier.

When Umar suggested to him that he could marry Hafsah, Othman requested a few days to think it over. Othman then met Umar and told him that he did not wish to marry for the present.

Umar was very upset at this double rejection. He went to the Prophet, seeking the comfort of his company. The Prophet received him well, recognizing that he was upset. Umar soon poured out the reason, perhaps adding that it was rather humiliating to face such rejection.


The Prophet smiled and said to him: "Hafsah will marry someone better than Othman, and Othman will marry someone better than Hafsah."

These words took Umar by surprise. What? Who? Could it be true? Does the Prophet mean himself? Who else?

The Prophet soon put all these questions out of Umar's mind and said that he wanted Hafsah to be his wife. Umar was overjoyed and went to his daughter giving her the happiest news. She was to be the wife of none other than Prophet Muhammad.

Soon afterward, Abu Bakr and Othman made their positions clear. Both had heard the Prophet mentioning Hafsah and realized that he wanted to marry her. They could not speak out until the Prophet had made his intention clear to Umar.

Therefore, they would rather accept that Umar might feel upset at their lack of response, realizing that the matter would soon come to a very happy conclusion. Thus, the third of the Prophet's marriages after Khadijah took place.

After he adopted Islam and experienced the happiness provided to him by his close association with the Prophet (peace be upon him), nothing gave Umar ibn Al-Khattab greater pleasure than his daughter's marriage to the Prophet. This was beyond his wildest dreams.

Hence, he was always keen to ensure that the Prophet should find in Hafsah a wife that brought him comfort and happiness. He kept counseling her to do her duty to her husband and not to engage in anything that would displease him.

After all, she was married to the man God had chosen to deliver His last message to mankind and to provide, by word and action, a perfect model of Islamic refined manners and serious morality.

Young people, however, do not look at things in the same way as their elders. They may acknowledge that their parents have had more experience, but they tend to dismiss such experience as irrelevant to their own situation.

Hafsah, a young wife in her early twenties coming into a home where there were already two wives, appears to have tried to carve a strong position for herself.

One day Umar said something to his wife, but she objected to it. Brought up in the Makkan traditions of the time, he said to her: "How come you object to something that I say when it is none of your business?"

She said: "Why should I not object when the Prophet’s wives may object to him? In fact, any of them might sulk and the Prophet might remain upset all day."

Umar felt that was very serious. He feared that his daughter could do that when it was very unpleasant to any husband. Moreover, he loved the Prophet so much that he would try to remove anything that could displease him.

Therefore, he went to Hafsah and said to her: "Is it true that you might sulk all day long?"

When she acknowledged that, he admonished her with all the love and care a father feels when he realizes that his daughter was on a dangerous course. He said: "Daughter! I warn you against incurring God's punishment and the displeasure of His messenger."

Referring to Lady Aishah, he counseled her not to join her into action motivated by jealousy: "Do not be tempted by your mate who is proud of her beauty and the Prophet's love. You know that the Prophet does not have the same love for you. Had it not been for me, he might have divorced you."

Yet Hafsah had inherited a strong character. How could she miss out when she was Umar's daughter? She was ready to express her opinion, even in objection to the Prophet on a matter of religion.

The Prophet once said: "None of my companions who gave me their pledges under the tree will ever be in hell."

This was a reference to the Prophet's 1400 companions who tried to do the Umrah with him in Makkah, but the unbelievers tried to prevent their entry into the city.

The standoff threatened to culminate into a battle and the Prophet sought a pledge from his companions to fight until death. They all readily gave him that pledge when he was standing under a tree.

Shortly afterward, the Treaty of Hudaibiyah was signed between the two parties. In the Quran, God states clearly that He was pleased with those Companions of the Prophet.

When the Prophet said this, Hafsah said: "Yes, they will do."

The Prophet was displeased with her, but she recited the verse that says in reference to hell: {There is not one among you who shall not pass over it: This is, for your Lord, a decree that must be fulfilled} (Maryam 19:71).

The Prophet answered: "But God also said: 'But We shall save those who are God-fearing, and leave the wrongdoers there, on their knees'" (Maryam 19:72).

Hafsah was the only one among the Prophet's wives who was divorced by the Prophet (peace be upon him). There are several reports suggesting the reason for the divorce, but none of them carries much weight so as to be more probable.

It is perhaps better to say that the main reason was Hafsah's own character, while one or the other of these suggested reasons triggered the Prophet's action. She was a woman of strong character, bold and self-assured. When the Prophet divorced her, she was extremely sad.

However, it was her father who felt the divorce to be his own personal catastrophe. He threw dust over his own head and lamented: "Why will God care for Umar and his daughter now that she is divorced?"

However, the divorce did not last long. The angel Gabriel came to the Prophet with this order: "God commands you to take Hafsah back, as a kindness to Umar."

Another report suggests that Gabriel said: "God commands you to take Hafsah back, for she is a highly devoted servant of God and she is your wife in heaven."

Needless to say, the Prophet immediately carried out God's order and Hafsah was back as one of the Prophet's wives, the mothers of all believers, as Muslims refer to the Prophet's wives.

We should reflect a little on these two reports. The first tells us that God Almighty sent His angel with the command that the Prophet should take back his divorced wife in kindness to her father.

God knew that Umar would spend the rest of his life in sorrow, should the divorce be made permanent. He felt that the great love he felt toward the Prophet was cemented by this marriage. Now that the marital bond was severed, he felt lost, uncared for by God or His messenger. Hence, his lamentation.

The other report mentions the virtues of Hafsah and her dedication to the cause of Islam and continuous devotion. She was a woman worthy of being a wife of God's messenger and a mother of all believers. Hence Gabriel tells the Prophet that she will be among his wives in heaven.

The two reports are not mutually exclusive. In fact both could be true. The angel might have said both statements when he brought to the Prophet God's command to reinstate his marriage to Hafsah.

When the Prophet had several wives, mutual jealousy was inevitable. We need to remember that none of them thought that it was wrong for a man to marry more than one wife. Polygamy was the normal practice in Arabia and many other parts of the world.

Islam simply restricted it, allowing a man no more than four wives at the same time. The Prophet, however, had an exemption because of his special status and the needs of his message.

Adil Salahi is the Executive Director of Al-Furqan Heritage Foundation. He teaches Islamic Studies at the Markfield Institute of Higher Education, Leicester, England. After working for the BBC Arabic Service for several years, he worked for the Arabic daily, al-Sharq al-Awsat. He continues to publish a column, "Islam in Perspective", in its sister publication, Arab News, an English daily published in Saudi Arabia. He has produced an English translation of several volumes of Sayyid Qutb's commentary, In the Shade of the Quran (Leicester, Islamic Foundation), as well as several other books on Islamic subjects.

A Loyal Wife by All Means

The Story of Umm Habibah, Prophet Muhammad's Wife

Umm Habibah was married to Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) through the proxy of the Emperor of Abyssinia. She was the daughter of the chief of Makkah.

Her name was Ramlah bint Abi Sufyan. She was born 25 years before the Hijrah. Being the daughter of a prominent merchant and leader of her people, Umm Habibah enjoyed a very easy and comfortable life.

She — herself one of the few literate Arabs at the time — was married to a wealthy Makkan who was versed in the knowledge of major religions of his time. Despite the fierce resistance the Makkan polytheists showed to Islam and the fact that her own parents were among the arch enemies of Islam, Umm Habibah was one of the early converts to Islam.

Out of fear for his followers, Prophet Muhammad advised them to emigrate to Abyssinia on the Western Arabian side of the Red Sea that separated the Peninsula from Africa.

Umm Habibah was one of the emigrants along with her husband, Ubaidullah ibn Jahsh. To her misfortune the husband, for some reason or another, apostatized and took to drinking.

Thus, Umm Habibah had to suffer not only separation from her home and family at Makkah, but she also suffered alienation from a beloved husband. Yet, as a courageous Muslim, she bore all these difficulties with patience and perseverance, finding solace in the freedom she enjoyed along with the other emigrants in Abyssinia under the protection of Emperor Negus who was an open-minded Christian.

Parenthetically, we may add that according to Muslim historians the Emperor of Abyssinia (known today as Ethiopia) did convert at a later date to Islam in secrecy, out of admiration for Islam and its teachings, which explains why Prophet Muhammad asked the companions to pray for him upon his death.

During the year of truce between the Muslims and the Makkan polytheists, Prophet Muhammad, sent messages to the heads of the big powers of the time, Khosrau of Persia, the Byzantine emperor and the ruler of Abyssinia.

Along with the missive calling Negus to Islam, the Prophet asked him to act proxy for him in the marriage to Umm Habibah. For Prophet Muhammad realized the agony she was going through in that far and strange land.

The best consolation he could offer her was honoring her by marriage to him. Politically this was also a tactful act, because through marriage to Umm Habibah, the Prophet would be an in-law to Abu Sufyan, the leading antagonist of Islam, which would, help in softening his hostile attitude.

Thus, Umm Habibah was honored not only by being asked in marriage to the Prophet of Islam, but she was also honored by having the Emperor of Abyssinia himself proxy suitor.

Upon hearing of the proposal, Umm Habibah appointed a Companion to represent her and act as guardian. The emperor celebrated the occasion on behalf of the Prophet by giving a feast to the Muslim emigrants who attended the wedding.

It was sometime later that Umm Habibah managed to go to Madinah to her husband along with the other Muslim emigrants led by a cousin of the Prophet, Jafar ibn Abi Talib.

At the house of the Prophet, Umm Habibah faced another important test of her faith, when she came face to face with her father Abu Sufyan who was (as mentioned earlier) the leader of the enemies of Islam.

For, when some allies of Quraish broke the terms of the peace­ truce with Prophet Muhammad, with the implicit approval of the people of Quraish, Abu Sufyan hurried to Madinah to cover up for the treacherous act.

The first person that came to his mind was certainly his daughter Umm Habibah, since she was the wife of Prophet Muhammad. He hoped she would intercede for him with her husband.

Upon entering his daughter's room Abu Sufyan wanted to sit on the Prophet's mattress. Umm Habibah quickly folded the mattress. He was surprised and asked:

"Are you trying to keep me away from the mattress or keep the mattress away from me?"

Umm Habibah answered: "It is the mattress of the Messenger of God. You are a disbeliever and unclean. I did not want you to sit on the Messenger of God's mattress,"

He said: "By God, something has gone wrong with you."

She answered: "On the contrary, God has guided me to Islam. Father, you are the master and leader of Quraish. How can you sit on it as you have not joined Islam and are still worshipping useless stones?"

The mission proved a failure for Abu Sufyan. But for Umm Habibah, she passed another difficult test. She had to choose between loyalty to her faith and love for her father whom she had not seen for many long years. She chose to take sides with her faith.

Thus, when Umm Habibah died 44 years after the Hijrah, her memory keeps living in the minds and hearts of millions of Muslims.

An Empowered Woman for All Times

Lady Safiyah, The Prophet's Wife

Today when we think of empowered women, what's the image we have in our minds: power suits, breaking the glass ceiling, raising children and building a lucrative career, both with equal finesse?

What are the key qualities that come to mind: knowledgeable and assertive perhaps?

After all, these are common qualities that all women today either possess or strive towards. But is it only women of today?

There is nothing wrong with the above picture. And even if not 100% accurate, it represents what many of us may define as today's empowered woman.

However, it is only part of the picture.

As hard as it may be to believe, such women are not solely the result of modern society and even existed way back in 14th century Arabia, in the time of the Prophet Muhammad and in the form of his wives, referred to by Muslims as the Mothers of the Believers.

Sure, in that time, they didn't come suited and booted ready to take on the world. But they did come fully clad in the attire the Quran instructed for them, and were ready to take on the Arabian Peninsula, in their own subtle but dynamic way.

Such is the story of Lady Safiyah, the ninth wife of Prophet Muhammad and daughter of Huyay ibn Akhtab and Barah bint Shamwal. (Ghadanfar 115)

A noble woman of Jewish lineage, she became a widow and subsequently, a prisoner of war during the Battle of Khaibar. Upon receiving a proposal of marriage from the Prophet Muhammad himself, she converted to Islam and began a new life with him at the age of seventeen. (Debas 130; Ghadanfar 118)

Like the women of today, Safiyah managed a wide array of roles in her lifetime and struck an amazing balance between each. She is an example for all women, as to how Islam and the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad, if imbibed properly, can be used fully to the advantage of womankind and become a tool for empowerment.

Spiritual Role

Lady Safiyah was extremely spiritual and spent most of her time reading the Quran, which Muslims believe to be the exact words of God, and memorizing many chapters of it. (Ghadanfar 120)

Her studies of the Quran were so intense that her eyes would fill with tears and she would weep (Ghadanfar 120). She recommended such an emotional reading of the Quran to all believers. (Webb)

The purity in her faith in God is evident in her own husband's testimony, in which he was quoted stating in defense of Lady Safiyah:

"She faithfully converted to Islam and became a good Muslim." (Debas 132)

Role as an Individual

As an individual, Lady Safiyah represented qualities which in today's times, could easily be defined as a fine example for women's empowerment. Most notable were her level of knowledge, well as her assertiveness, and how she used one to strengthen the other. (Webb)

The fact that Safiyah was especially knowledgeable in the area of Islam is evident from her avid reading of the Quran. However, in her case this is especially commendable because she did not limit herself to ritually reciting the verses of the Quran, but also made practical applications of them.

While she memorized chapters of the Quran and wept at its words and verses, she also used the Almighty's words as the very foundation for understanding and interpreting religion for practice in her daily life.

Moreover, it was this very sound knowledge base of Islam that gave her the confidence to be assertive in a number of areas in her life, whether it was to demand fair treatment, to defend her practice of Islam, own property, or even later, to participate in war and politics.

Her righteous nature was evident when Umar ibn Al-Khattab assigned twelve thousand dirhams (a currency of the time) to each wife of the Prophet as their share of the spoils received from recent Muslim conquests at the time. Every wife received the same amount, except for Lady Safiyah and Lady Juwayriyah, both of whom were given only six thousand dirhams.

Umar defended his decision, stating that the other wives received this amount because they had emigrated from Makkah to Madinah. However, both Safiyah and Juwayriyah objected to this and even refused to accept the money.

They countered Umar's argument and stated that the others received the standard amount because they were Prophet Muhammad's wives. Safiyah and Juwayriyah made it clear that because they shared equal status, they deserved equal treatment. Upon this assertion, Umar reversed his decision and allotted them the rightful amount. (Al-Hindi 5/594)

What's most impressive about this particular incident is that the Prophet himself was not even there to aid Safiyah in demanding her rights at this time, because this occurred after his death. However, her knowledge of Islam and her rights within it supported her in being assertive, and ensured that she received fair treatment, whether in the presence or absence of her beloved husband.

Often subjected to the eye of accusation due to her Jewish lineage, Lady Safiyah used her understanding of Islam to not only defend her faith in Allah (Arabic for God) when need be, but also to balance it with the rights of her heritage.

There was an incident when her maid went and told the Caliph Umar that even though Safiyah converted to Islam, she still observed the Saturday Sabbath, and kept good terms with the Jews. As a result, the Caliph questioned Safiyah regarding these accusations. (Ibn Hajar 7/741)

Again, based on her knowledge, she responded that after Allah told the Muslims about the sanctity and blessings of Friday, she stopped giving importance to Saturday.

She further added that indeed, she still maintained relations with the Jews who were her relatives and by doing so, she was simply following the command of Allah and his Messenger for maintaining good relations with family. (Ibn Hajar 7/741)

These examples highlight how Lady Safiyah made full use of the divine gift of knowledge. Not only did she actively seek knowledge of Islam, but she also applied it widely to all areas of her life.

This knowledge in turn, served as a fuel igniting her assertiveness. Therefore, whenever she demanded her rights or defended herself, she backed it up with solid evidence straight from the Quran and teachings of the final Messenger.

Role as a Wife

As a wife, she treated her marriage as a partnership, and was not afraid to confide in the Prophet Muhammad or seek his advice when necessary. Safiyah did not view seeking advice from her husband as submissive or a reflection of her weaknesses. Rather, she intelligently made use of the strengths he had, and drew upon them wherever relevant and necessary in her own life.

In fact, it was her ability to confide in him that gave her even more strength in dealing with criticisms of her Jewish lineage assertively. At a point in her life, when Safiyah felt the taunts were unbearable, she actually brought the issue to the Prophet's attention. (Webb)

Wiping her tears, he advised her, "Wouldn't it be better for you to say, 'How could they be better then I, when my father is Prophet Aaron, my uncle is Prophet Moses, and my husband is Prophet Muhammad'?" (Ibn Sa'd 8/128; Ibn Hajar 7/741)

His intelligent response gave a tremendous boost to Safiyah's abilities to handle such challenges boldly.

Despite the taunts or accusations she may have received, her heart was filled with pure undiluted love for the Prophet Muhammad and Allah. Moreover, the Prophet knew this very well and never even requested evidence of loyalty from her.

As a result, Safiyah's devotion to the Prophet's well-being continued up to his final moments of life. Seeing him in his deathbed, Safiyah cried out in anguish,

"Oh, Prophet of Allah, I surely wish that what you suffer from might be in me rather than you!"

Even when others remained skeptical of her remark, the Prophet defended her without any hesitation or doubt:

"By Allah, I know that Safiyah is loyal and truthful and she meant what she just said." (Ibn Sa'd 8/128; Ibn Hajar 7/741)

The fact that the Prophet was consistently able to testify of Safiyah's faithfulness, spoke volumes of her credibility as a wife. In today's times, women often have to convince or even coerce their husbands into taking their sides when it comes to controversial issues with in-laws or other third parties surrounding a marriage.

Yet for Safiyah, her husband continually rose to her defense, even without a request from her part to do so.

Her dignified and upright character was enough testimony that she not only believed in Allah and his Messenger, but personified her faith through her role as a dutiful wife to Prophet Muhammad.

Role in Society

Safiyah was also an active participant in the civil society of her time. An example of this is her participation in the political battles which began in the time of Caliph Uthman ibn Affan (Webb). Such was her involvement that in fact, she tried her best to stop the great sedition. (Debas 135)

A supporter of Uthman, Safiyah's efforts were not limited to only verbal statements. She was also ready to go out to defend him and prepared her mule for this purpose. Her efforts were unfortunately countered by opponents of Uthman.

Not one to be discouraged, she continued to support Uthman's besieged family as best she could. To this end, she built a bridge between her house and his, so she could provide his family with food and water while they suffered from the battles. (Ibn Sa'd 8/128)

Safiyah's role as a philanthropist in her society also branched out to her care for the poor, to whom she donated a house that she herself owned, prior to her death. (Debas 138)

Conclusion

To conclude the story of Lady Safiyah, she was a woman who was truly empowered. In her sixty years, she lived a full, thriving, and dynamic life. Indeed, from the age of seventeen, the primary identity attributed to her was that of Prophet Muhammad's wife.

Yet, by the will of God, the Prophet's support and her own sheer talent and tenacity, she did not merely live a life behind the curtains, so to speak.

Within the framework of Allah's word and her beloved husband's teachings, she was able to set a fine example of what women's empowerment really means. Safiyah struck a fine balance between all the different roles she was called to play — and in fact chose to play — in her lifetime.

Far from neglecting any of the essentials, Safiyah established a strong relationship with her Creator, nurtured a loving partnership with her husband, maintained healthy relations with her peers, family, and all those that surrounded her, and played an active role in her society.

Perhaps most importantly, she also ensured her own rights and cared for herself as an individual. Both assertive and diplomatic, Safiyah was multidimensional and truly a woman of substance for her time.

Clad in her traditional attire, armed with the knowledge of Islam, and fuelled with an assertive demeanor, Lady Safiyah's life and character demonstrate that while we have some undeniably successful and empowered women today, they are not merely a modern phenomenon.

Given today's context, perhaps we cannot entirely emulate the life and times of this beloved wife of the Prophet Muhammad, but we can certainly apply her exemplary principles of knowledge, assertiveness, and balance, to the modern lives we lead.

Works Cited

Al-Hindi, Ali-Uddin ibn Husamud-Din Al-Muttaqi. Kanz al-Ummal fi Sunan wal Aqwal wal Afwal.

Debas, Faridah Masood. The Wives of the Prophet Muhammad (Blessings and Peace be upon him). Riyadh: International Islamic Publishing House, 2006.

Ghadanfar, Mahmood Ahmad. Great Women of Islam: Who were given the Good News of Paradise. Riyadh: Darussalam, 2000.

Ibn Hajar Al-Asqalani. Al-Isaba fi Tamyiz al-Sahabah.

Ibn Sa'd, Muhammad ibn Sa'd ibn Mani' al-Baghdadi. Kitab At-Tabaqat Al-Kabir.

Webb, Suhaib. The Mothers of the Believers: Hadhrat Safiyah bint Huyy. Awakening Media Productions, 2006. (Audio Lecture Series).

Majida Islam Khan is Bangladeshi-American. She recently completed her Bachelor's degree in International Relations and now resides in the United Kingdom while pursuing volunteer work in the fields of Human Rights and Islamic Studies.She can be contacted at : mjkhan07@yahoo.com

Finding Comfort in Love

When Muhammad (peace be upon him) reached twenty, a new stage in his life was starting. His noble birth, strong character and physical strength would surely have put him on the road to prosperity.

There are reports suggesting that in his old age Muhammad was endowed with exceptional strength. In his youth, he must have been full of vigor and ability.

Combining this with his well-known honesty and wisdom which belied his years in addition to his fine character, it was only to be expected that if he aspired to any material achievement in his society he would have been certain to achieve it.

Muhammad, however, continued to set for himself a high code of honor. The strength of his character and his keen sense of morality provided a balancing factor for his physical desire. He was able to control that desire with wisdom and spiritual strength.

Moreover, he was fast acquiring a reputation for meticulous honesty. Indeed, he was called by his society "Al-Ameen", which meant the "trustworthy and honest one".

Searching for Employment

Material gain did not seem to tempt him in any way. He did not despise wealth, nor did he seek any vain ideals. He only had a fine sense of proportion. He realized that wealth was not an end in itself. It was a means to a higher end.

Hence he approached the task of searching for a new occupation with seriousness and dignity. It as soon decided that he should try to find employment in trade and business.

Muhammad had no money of his own to establish a business, nor was Abu Talib, his uncle, a man of affluence to provide him with a good start.

The only option left for him, therefore, was to prove himself as an agent, trading on someone else's behalf. Apparently, he had no difficulty in securing such a position , because of his rapidly growing reputation for honesty and sound character.

It is not absolutely certain for whom Muhammad was working as agent in those early years.

A Business Arrangement

It is reasonable, however, to assume that it was Khadijah bint khuwaylid, a rich widow, who had the benefit of his valuable services. She was later to send him on a trade mission to Syria with a great quantity of goods. Probably she would not have done that without trying him first in the local markets.

He is reported to have said later that she was very kind employer. Every time he and his partner went to see her, she offered them something to eat.

Muhammad gained a great deal of experience in business in his early twenties. He was working on commission.

Khadijah, however, paid him more than she paid her other agents. She realized that she had working for her a man who combined honesty and integrity with a keen eye for business.

Her admiration for Muhammad was increasing all the time. She wanted to retain his services, and she felt that the only way to d that was to increase his income. He, however, shoed no sign of the greed normally shown by people in his position.

Khadijah, being a wealthy widow, received one marriage proposal after another. She realized, however, that it was her money that tempted her suitors. Hence she declined as many proposals as she received.

Her business association with Muhammad, however, made her recognize that there was a man for whom money was not the greatest priority. She began to think of him in a different light.

A Marriage Proposal

Khadijah was a woman of great intelligence and noble birth. She had a strong character and she like to act in any matter only after she had looked at it carefully from all angles.

Apparently, she consulted one or two of her trusted relatives, who praised Muhammad highly. One of those was Waraqah ibn Nawfal, an old uncle of hers, who recognized that Muhammad was destined to have a very important future.

Khadijah had long resolved that she would choose her future husband when she was absolutely certain of his character. Looking at her dealings with Muhammad, she felt that it was now up to her to take the next step.

Khadijah sent a close friend of hers, Nufaysah, to make an indirect approach to Muhammad. When she met him she said: "Muhammad, what is keeping you from getting married?"

He answered:" I do not have enough to meet the expense of my marriage."

She said:" What if you are not called upon to meet such expenses? What would you say to a woman of beauty, wealth and position who is willing to marry you? Would you marry her?"

He said: "Who is that woman?"

She answered: "Khadijah."

He asked: "Who can arrange such a marriage for me?"

She said: "Leave that to me."

His response was: "I will do it, willingly."

The First Marriage

When Khadijah was sure of Muhammad's reaction, she sent him a message asking him to come and see her. She said to him: "Cousin, (she used this term in the widest sense, since she was a very distant cousin of Muhammad. Their ancestry did not join until the fifth grandparent.) I admire you because of your good position among your people, your honesty and good manners, and because you are a man of your word."

She then made her proposal that they should get married. Muhammad was very pleased and went to inform his uncles, who were also very pleased with such a marriage.

Muhammad went with his uncles to meet Khadijah's uncle. Abu Talib, the Prophet's uncle, spoke on behalf of his nephew. He said:

"This nephew of mine, Muhammad ibn Abdullah, is without peers in his nobility of character and descent. If he is not wealthy, wealth is only something accidental. Money comes and goes, and many a wealthy man becomes poor. He will certainly have a great future. He is proposing marriage to your honorable daughter, Khadijah. He is giving her a dowry of such and such."

Khadijah's uncle did not hesitate to make his acceptance clear. The marriage was then concluded at a dowry of 20 young camels.

25 Happy Years

It was a happy marriage. Most biographers of the Prophet put his age at 25, saying that Khadijah was 40. Some reports suggest that the Prophet was nearer 30. Khadijah on the other hand, was reported to have been 35, or even 25. In view of the fact that she gave Muhammad six children, the report which allots her a younger age seems more accurate.

Abdullah ibn Abbas, the Prophet's cousin, who is considered to have been the most learned among the companions of the Prophet, states that she was 28 and not a day older.

Whatever their respective ages, Muhammad was to spend 25 happy years with Khadijah. The marriage gave Khadijah a man whom she could love, respect and trust. He was a most caring and loving husband who attended to his family duties with his customary seriousness. She gave him four daughters and two sons.

Although polygamy was the normal practice in Arabia, Muhammad did not have a second wife while Khadijah was alive. The marriage gave Muhammad a settled life, but the real benefit of marrying Khadijah was not fully apparent until after he began to receive his revelations and face opposition to his message from all quarters.

At that time, Khadijah's support was most valuable to Muhammad. She stood by his side, reassuring him and giving him all the comfort he needed. No matter how great his trouble when he called on his people to accept Islam, the moment he went home he was certain of a comforting welcome from his wife.

Long after her death, and when he had married several other wives, the Prophet continued to cherish Khadijah's memory.

Khadijah gave birth first to a boy who was named Al-Qasim. Four daughters then followed, named Zainab, Ruqayyah, Umm Kulthum and Fatimah. Abdullah was the last child to be born to Khadijah.

Al-Qasim lived only a few years while Abdullah died before it was time for him to be weaned. Ibrahim on the other hand, lived only 18 months.

All four daughters of the Prophet lived until after Islamic revelations started. They all accepted Islam. The first three, however, died in Madinah, while Fatimah was the only daughter of the Prophet to survive him. She died six months after his death.

Adil Salahi is the Executive Director of Al-Furqan Heritage Foundation. He teaches Islamic Studies at the Markfield Institute of Higher Education, Leicester, England. After working for the BBC Arabic Service for several years, he worked for the Arabic daily, al-Sharq al-Awsat. He continues to publish a column, "Islam in Perspective", in its sister publication, Arab News, an English daily published in Saudi Arabia. He has produced an English translation of several volumes of Sayyid Qutb's commentary, In the Shade of the Quran (Leicester, Islamic Foundation), as well as several other books on Islamic subjects.

A Blessed Child

Al-Hasan ibn Ali (The Grandson of the Prophet)

Al-Hasan and Al-Husayn are two memorable names well known to everyone in the world of Islam. For they are no other than the children of the daughter of the Prophet, Fatimah and his dear cousin Ali ibn Abi Talib.

One night Ummul-Fadl, the wife of the Prophet's uncle Al-Abbas, saw in a dream that a part of the Prophet was in her house. She was worried. So she informed the Prophet about it. The Prophet smiled, and informed her that her dream meant that his daughter would have a son, and that Ummul-Fadl would feed him of her milk.

Ali ibn Abi Talib heard the news and he rushed to convey it to his wife Fatimah. And it was on the fifteenth of Ramadan of the third year after the Hijrah that Fatimah had her first child. As soon as the Prophet heard the news, he went to his daughter's house and asked for the baby in whose ears he recited the Adhan (call to Prayer) and Iqamah (call of readiness for Prayer). On the seventh day, the Prophet asked Ali ibn Abi Talib: "What name have you given the boy?"

"Harb," said Ali.

"No, but he is Al-Hasan (the good and good-looking)," said the Prophet.

At the Prophet's suggestion, a sheep was slaughtered and its meat was distributed in charity to the poor Al Hasan had the fortune of being brought up in the most blessed home in the lap of the Prophet (his grandfather) and Fatimah, the daughter of Prophet Muhammad(his mother) and Ali ibn Abi Talib the Prophet's cousin (his father). He opened his eyes to prayers and devotional activities going at home and in the Prophet's mosque at Madinah.

Since the residence of Ali ibn Abi Talib was adjacent to the Prophet's mosque and rooms, Al-Hasan was often raised (as a baby and child) in the mosque. The Prophet's affection for Al-Hasan was limitless. He was many a time heard saying, "O God, I love him. Please love him and love those who love him."

Through the Prophet's attitude and behavior towards Al-Hasan and his brother, Muslims find the Prophetic example in the treatment of children.

We are told that once, the Prophet was in prostration in Prayer when the little Al-Hasan mounted his back. The Prophet remained for quite a while in that position. When some of the Companions later expressed their worry, he informed them that the young child was happy riding his grandfather's back. The Prophet did not want to disturb him and deprive him of the pleasure. So he remained in prostration until Al-Hasan got down off his back.

The second instance occurred when once while the Prophet was delivering a sermon in the mosque, Al-Hasan came treading on the edge of his garment, falling down every now and then. The Prophet could not stand the sight. So he stopped his sermon, came down from the pulpit, carried Al-Hasan, and resumed the sermon.

Unfortunately, Al-Hasan could not enjoy the company of his loving grandfather for long, because the Prophet died when Al-Hasan was only eight years of age. Hardly six months passed when he was deprived of his mother as well. However, this fact does not mean that he did not learn anything from the Prophet.

For despite the death of Prophet Muhammad, during the childhood of Al-Hasan, he was constantly educated by the Prophet himself during his lifetime. Al-Hasan reports: "Once while as a small child I took a date from the dates of the charity. I put it in my mouth, but the Prophet took it out. When asked about the reason, he explained, "We the Household of Muhammad do not eat from charity."

It was from such lessons that Al-Hasan learnt self-respect and all the exemplar qualities he was well-known for.


In his youth, Al-Hasan was sent along with his younger brother Al-Husayn to defend Caliph Uthman ibn Affan when the Caliph was attacked by a group of rebels.

A little later, Al-Hasan had to witness the death of the fourth righteous Caliph, his own father, who was assassinated in Iraq. The Iraqis elected Al-Hasan as a successor to his father, but when he realized that his acceptance of the Caliphate meant war between the two Muslim camps, his and that of Muawiya ibn Abi Sufyan, he refused it saying: "I would not like to be Caliph while a drop of blood is shed because of it."

Al-Hasan's piety is best illustrated in the fact that he insisted on travelling on foot not less than ten times to Makkah for the purpose of pilgrimage.


Al-Hasan died in Madinah in the year 49 or 50 after Hijrah, and was buried in the cemetery of Madinah.

Torn Between Two Loves

The Story of Zainab, the Prophet's Eldest Daughter

Zainab was the eldest daughter of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).

Eldest, and by default, a role-model, Zainab's story of loving, losing and loving again was probably the most painful yet most endearing of the four sisters.


As a young Arab woman, she was married to a wealthy man from Shams, a tribe of Quraish.

However, as Islam came to Makkah, little did the family realize that Zainab's marriage had to be terminated, having to choose her beloved father over her husband.

Her tale is an emotional one, embalmed in tears — both sad and happy.

The Division of Makkah

When Prophet Muhammad received his first revelation, Zainab was already married to a kind and loving husband. His name was Abul-Aas ibn Rabi. Upon learning of her father's appointment as the last Prophet, Zainab along with her mother Khadijah, and her sisters Ruqayyah, Umm Kulthum and Fatimah were the first women and young girls who embraced Islam.

It frightened the Prophet's immediate family that he would incur a pressing amount of hatred from many enemies of Islam. Yet the five of them banded together, along with their male counterparts such as Ali ibn Abi Talib and Zaid ibn Haritha, who made up the first handful of Muslims.

Chaos erupted in the months that followed, as more and more of the poor and oppressed turned to Prophet Muhammad for protection. Islam was something new to them and extremely appealing. They were granted rights and complete freedom from those who overworked and tortured them.

Their reversion in silence was suddenly shattered when the Prophet received revelation to announce to Makkah that there was only one God worthy of worship, and he, Prophet Muhammad, was the final Messenger.

Families began to divide. Brothers lost brothers to this new alien faith. Parents lost children; and some children lost their parents. Husbands and wives disagreed and fought. Family heads were appalled at changes in religious beliefs of their son-in-laws and daughter-in-laws. Many were expelled from the family home.

Amongst them were Ruqayyah and Umm Kulthum. It is unclear as to whether the girls were already married or merely betrothed to the sons of Abu Lahab, but they were flung back into the arms of Prophet Muhammad and Khadijah upon the news of their reversion. The couple was relieved; the last thing they wanted for their daughters was for them to have an ardent enemy as a father-in-law.

Then, there was Zainab. In the clamor of confusion and a strong resistance to acceptance of Islam by the heavyweights of the Quraish, Zainab and Abul-Aas marriage remained intact. It definitely was not a smooth sailing journey for the young couple. The leaders of the Shamsite clan began to crack-down on their kinsman. Divorce, they screamed at him, she was contaminated with a mental disorder and a disgrace to the tribe.

Yet amidst the pressure and insult that fell upon Abul-Aas and his wife, they remained married amongst the controversies that surrounded their union. He remained "tolerant," as many scholars described a handful of the Prophet's family members who did not follow his footsteps to Islam.

Yet, tolerance was a feeble excuse for the proud pagan Arabs – tolerance did not exist – especially in a society that had suddenly been condemned by a man named Muhammad, who previously to his submission to One God, had been trusted by his community.

They would never be tolerant to this misfit, who asked them to abandon their statues and granted women equal privileges as men. The men promised Abul-Aas the wedding of his choice to the bride of his choice – the most beautiful, richest, well-connected virgin of Makkah – as long as he terminated his marriage to Zainab, the eldest daughter of the misfit named Muhammad.

The criticisms and pressure fell on deaf ears. He loved his wife and his mother-in-law, Khadijah, who was also his aunt. He also loved Prophet Muhammad, and would not severe ties with his family. In all adversities that surrounded them, Abul-Aas remained married to Zainab.

Alone in the Masses

The chaos was just the beginning. Passing years witnessed more and more influential persons venturing to the Kabah to pray behind Prophet Muhammad, Abu Jahl, Abu Lahab and their comrades decided it was time to eradicate this nuisance of a following, once and for all.

They boycotted the followers of Islam from engaging in any contracts with their non-Muslim tribes. For three years the early Muslims lost their wealth to the non-Muslims as they were unable to trade. Their health deteriorated as they were unable to purchase sustenance. They became outcasts of society, traitors to the proud pagan way.

It must have been difficult for Zainab, alone in the masses, a Muslim still amongst non-Muslims, still in love with her husband. He still remained tolerant but unaccepting of this strange faith; but she had been removed from her doting parents, her siblings and other important companions who remained close to her heart. By the time the ban was over, there was little time for Zainab to rejoice. Her mother passed away, and so did her grand uncle, Abu Talib, one of the few tolerant non-Muslims.

Just over a year later, the Muslims emigrated to Madinah, to start the first civilization known to mankind. Zainab was alone again – within the sea of non-believers – married to a man who did not share her love for Islam.

A Message for Zainab

The Battle of Badr marked the first fair battle between the Muslims and non-Muslims as the former sought to reclaim their possessions that had been confiscated during the boycott. It must have been horrendous for Zainab knowing that one army was being led by her father with a heavy burden upon him to protect the rights of his followers and that her husband stood by the enemy lines.

Sources narrate that there were tears in the Muslims' eyes as they fought against their brothers, cousins, uncles, neighbors, friends and former colleagues. It must have been no less teary for Zainab.

The outcome of Badr was also bittersweet for her. When her husband did not return from the battlefield, she knew he was being held captive by the Muslims, and her father was alive and safe.

Back in Madinah, Prophet Muhammad was collecting blood money for the captives. One by one he freed the captives as the blood money trickled in. When it came to Abul-Aas' package, the Prophet paled, as attached to the money was an onyx necklace – one that belonged to Khadijah. The Prophet remembered the day she had given it to Zainab, when he had given her away in marriage to the man who was awaiting for his freedom.

He ordered for the money and the necklace to be returned to his estranged daughter, along with her husband. However, he spoke gently with Abul-Aas, to free Zainab from her marriage, as by then, a revelation directed that she could no longer be married to a non-Muslim man.

Her departure was heartbreaking. She left to live her life as a Muslim without barriers, but Abul-Aas was still using Islam as a barrier for their relationship. He was still unable to forsake the beliefs of his fore-fathers.

As she left for Madinah, the men of the Abd Shams tribe became outraged that a woman of their clan was being transported to the Muslims. They had barely recovered from the vile defeat in Badr.

They mobilized a small troop to stop her from moving back to her family. A man called Habbar galloped viciously and pointed in front of her carriage brandishing a spear upon Zainab and her young daughter Umamah. Her brother-in-law, by the name of Kinanah – who was her escort - reasoned with the men and turned the carriage to head back to Makkah before anyone was hurt. Some say Zainab fell from her camel, others say she was so frightened at Habbar's threat. Either way, many believed she miscarried a child that was blossoming within her - a memory of her marriage to her husband.

The Family Reunion

Kinanah later transported Zainab and Umamah by night where they safely arrived at Madinah to be reunited with her family. By then, her sister Ruqayyah had died, but she still had father and her youngest two siblings. She also had Umamah.

Zainab was finally able to live her life as a liberated Muslim, attending prayers with her family and working towards the betterment of a progressive society.

During her time at Madinah, she also experienced a perilous siege upon the Muslim community. The people of Makkah were back to attack the Muslims in Madinah. Her father along with his consultative panel strategized to play on the defensive, digging a trench around the vulnerable border of Madinah. "The Battle of the Trench," as it was called, marked a disfavourable turning point for the army from Makkah.

After approximately two weeks of attempts to attack, the Quraish failed miserably to penetrate Madinah, but the siege was not over. A Jewish tribe living within Madinah had allied with the foreign influence and was prepared to attack the Muslims from within. By the grace of Allah, Prophet Muhammad and his men were able to intercept the attacks.

From then on, the Arabs of Makkah had lost all integrity as a nation; they even lost credibility in their trades – which was their livelihood all this while.

The Second Reunion

Months followed and the Muslims were instructed to sabotage trade caravans from Makkah that were travelling past Madinah. A caravan returning from Syria was captured by Zaid, one of the Prophet's companions. The merchandise and employees were brought to Madinah.

However, one man, amongst a few, escaped.

He made his way carefully to Madinah in the middle of the night, and by some miracle he knocked on the right door. Zainab let him in. In all of his despair, he knew he could trust her.

He told her that he was troubled by the confiscation of many goods that were held in his trust as a result from barter trades in Syria. The people of Makkah trusted him and he needed to return the goods to their purchasers. He also feared for his safety.

Zainab left quietly for dawn prayers with her family members. She stood amongst the female congregation, in the front row, with her sisters and the Mothers of Believers (the Prophet's wives). As she saw her father with a congregation of men, Zainab waited for a moment of silence and cried out with all her heart, "O people, I give protection to Abul-Aas, the son of Rabi."

Concerned by her situation, her father hurried over to Zainab. She repeated her message to the Prophet and he calmly reminded her "Receive him with all honour, but let him not come to you as a husband, for you are not his by law." He then turned to his followers and beseeched them to have mercy upon his former son-in-law who was also his late wife's nephew. He was still a relative.

All of the merchandise that fell under Abul-Aas purview was returned to him, in hopes he would embrace Islam. When asked whether he would join them as a brother in faith and acquire the goods that he possessed, he answered, "It were a bad beginning to my Islam, that I should betray my trust."

After returning the goods to Makkah, Abul-Aas made his way back to Madinah and embraced Islam. The Prophet reinstated his marriage to Zainab. It was one of the happiest days of his family and the city of Makkah rejoiced at their reunion.

Love Lives On

Zainab died not long after she was reunited with her husband, but her love stretches beyond her lifetime. Women today face all sorts of dilemmas and atrocities with respects to their families, marriages, statuses, careers and personal lives; those who have faith pull through.

Zainab, the daughter of Prophet Muhammad, persevered through the most horrific mental torture that her marriage could endure during the advent of Islam. She watched her family suffer as they were marginalized from society.

She was abandoned several times, forcing herself to live amongst non-Muslims who despised her father. She feared her father's life as she did for her husband's on several occasions and sometimes at the same time.

There were times when her own life was threatened and her divorce took a toll on her mental and physical self. She was torn between two loves time and time again; yet she chose each time – and chose wisely – one man above the other man, both whom she loved dearly.

The driving force behind Zainab's steadfastness could only be one thing – her faith – her undying love for the one religion that saved her life on many occasions, her father's life and her husband's life – it was the choice of Islam.

Maria Zain is predominantly a Business Writer but enjoys various writing genres including Muslim Lifestlye, Muslim Management and Leadership, Islamic Finance, Interior Decoration and Parenting. Her work has been published in multiple international publications that focus on da'wa work in one way or another. Maria is a Malaysian writer, with a short career in banking to her name, courtesy of her degree in Finance. She was brought up in Europe but currently resides in Malaysia with her husband and two small children.