Emotional Incest - True Story
Many teenage girls suffer the consequences of a father-daughter-mother triangle in which the father's over-expressed love for the daughter motivates the mother to reject both daughter and father. They are survivors of emotional incest - adult children of parents who inappropriately loved their children. See Daddy's Princess and Mother's Little Prince. This is a true story.
Troubled Teenagers
... My father loves me but my mother disapproves of everything I do. She rejects me and she calls me depressed and hyperactive and worse ... I don't know what I did to hurt her - and I hurt too ... no matter how much sex, booze or grass, my hurt comes back ... when I'm alone, I cry and scream. Sometimes I cut or burn myself. Pain helps calm me feel calm ... for a while. I'm 17 years old and already I feel that I have no future.
Teenage girls who feel rejected by their mothers react in many predictable ways. In extreme cases these girls may ...
* dye their hair in multiple colors
* take prescription anti-depressants
* be very thin - sometimes anorexic
* use or have used illegal drugs heavily
* have cuts or cigarette burns on their arms
* prefer garish make-up - often shades of purple
* have self-inflicted piercings with unusual studs
* have red or white scars on their wrists and forearms
... Two months ago I tried to kill myself by drinking cleaning fluid. But my best friend phoned the police. When they saw my wrists, they knew I'd tried to kill myself before. They gave me antidepressants and a suicide watch. At least they cared that much.
Although we find that most depression reflect relationship issues, a common solution for depression is medication. The more expensive anti-depressants are SSRI - selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors such as Zoloft, Prozac or Paxil. These drugs increase serotonin in the brain. Yet most depression seems to reflect relationship problems. Drugs, legal or illegal, are unlikely to heal relationships.
Common Side Effects of SSRI Anti-Depressants
* Headaches
* Drowsiness
* Tremors
* Nausea
* Upset stomach
* Diarrhea
* Heavy sweating
* Disturbed sleep
* Decreased libido
Many older, cheaper anti-depressants are MAOI (MonoAmine Oxidase Inhibitors), with worse side effects. MAO inhibitors such as Nardil, Parnate and Marplan may be prescribed when other drugs fail. For side effects of MAOI anti-depressants ... visit Side Effects of MAOI.
Ritalin, an amphetamine, is a drug of choice for hyperactivity and attention deficit disorders. Side effects associated with Ritalin include irritability or anger and loss of appetite.
Many depressed survivors of emotional incest medicate themselves with alcohol, nicotine and illegal drugs. You may call these people addicts - do you not hear their silent screams for help?
Attachment Disorders & Relationship Bonds
Emotional incest is associated with attachment disorders and relationship bonds that can affect all aspects of life. Systemic Solutions offers coaching solutions for:
Behavior: defiant, impulsive, destructive, lies and steals, aggressive and abusive, hyperactive, self-destructive, cruel, irresponsible
Emotions: intense anger, sadness, depressed, hopeless, moody, anxious, irritable
Thoughts: limiting self-beliefs, poor friendship skills, attention and learning problems
Relationships: no trust, controlling, manipulative, unstable relationships, victimizer
Physical: poor hygiene, accidents, dissociated, depressed, hyperactive
Moral/Spiritual: lack of compassion, remorse, meaning, identifies with darkness
Medication is a common way to manage (not cure) these symptoms. Medication is not the only way - but may be the easiest way to manage symptoms. We offer alternative, long-term solutions.
Teenage Sex
... Last year I started having sex with my 37 year old social worker. He told me that he would teach me about sex. He is gentle. He has other young girls - he said he doesn't want a girl over 18. He wants two or three of "his girls" together but I said no to that. I don't know why.
Sexual intercourse with many partners increases the risk of pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases and damaged reproductive health. Studies show that girls who start having sex at young ages often have many sexual partners. Also, teenage girls who have sex with more than one partner over a few weeks are more likely to smoke, drink alcohol, use illegal drugs and / or sniff glue.
These behaviors are likely to hurt a girl's health, education, sport abilities, future partnership and / or future children, unless the behaviors are assimilated and any trauma or guilt dissolved.
... I know lots of girls who are like me but my best friend is more stable. We sometimes sleep together ... people call us bisexual but our boyfriends say its OK. We go to a girl's boarding school ... some days its more like a psychiatric hospital for rich girls. Many of us will only go to university unless our parents bribe somebody ... or we seduce somebody ... it happens a lot.
Medication is not the only way. Our systemic solutions can resolve complex relationship problems. But few people who do not witness our work can imagine that fast, effective resolution is possible.
Coaching Young Adults . Individual Coaching . Couple Coaching . Family Coaching
Systemic Solutions
People who feel abandoned or rejected by parents may become emotional or trance-like if asked about their goals. They may be diagnosed with Depression, Bipolar Disorder or Schizophrenia. They
* avoid finishing projects
* cannot specify congruent goals
* distract themselves with obsessions
* express anxiety and strong emotions
* offer endless excuses for their behavior
Martyn, your article brought flashbacks of my walk on the wild side ... fortunately I was not so creative in self-destruction. I found some healthy mentors and:
* I changed my values and beliefs about who controls my life
* I avoided unfriendly environments and considered seclusion
* I enjoyed the therapeutic roles of nature and a dog named Gigi (see family pets)
* I decided that my life is sacred and that I deserve to be here
I was sick and tired of suffering. I took responsibility for my life and found better options than being a victimizer, a victim or a helper! MB Zagreb, Croatia
Many teenage girls suffer the consequences of a father-daughter-mother triangle in which the father's over-expressed love for the daughter motivates the mother to reject both daughter and father. They are survivors of emotional incest - adult children of parents who inappropriately loved their children. See Daddy's Princess and Mother's Little Prince. This is a true story.
Troubled Teenagers
... My father loves me but my mother disapproves of everything I do. She rejects me and she calls me depressed and hyperactive and worse ... I don't know what I did to hurt her - and I hurt too ... no matter how much sex, booze or grass, my hurt comes back ... when I'm alone, I cry and scream. Sometimes I cut or burn myself. Pain helps calm me feel calm ... for a while. I'm 17 years old and already I feel that I have no future.
Teenage girls who feel rejected by their mothers react in many predictable ways. In extreme cases these girls may ...
* dye their hair in multiple colors
* take prescription anti-depressants
* be very thin - sometimes anorexic
* use or have used illegal drugs heavily
* have cuts or cigarette burns on their arms
* prefer garish make-up - often shades of purple
* have self-inflicted piercings with unusual studs
* have red or white scars on their wrists and forearms
... Two months ago I tried to kill myself by drinking cleaning fluid. But my best friend phoned the police. When they saw my wrists, they knew I'd tried to kill myself before. They gave me antidepressants and a suicide watch. At least they cared that much.
Although we find that most depression reflect relationship issues, a common solution for depression is medication. The more expensive anti-depressants are SSRI - selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors such as Zoloft, Prozac or Paxil. These drugs increase serotonin in the brain. Yet most depression seems to reflect relationship problems. Drugs, legal or illegal, are unlikely to heal relationships.
Common Side Effects of SSRI Anti-Depressants
* Headaches
* Drowsiness
* Tremors
* Nausea
* Upset stomach
* Diarrhea
* Heavy sweating
* Disturbed sleep
* Decreased libido
Many older, cheaper anti-depressants are MAOI (MonoAmine Oxidase Inhibitors), with worse side effects. MAO inhibitors such as Nardil, Parnate and Marplan may be prescribed when other drugs fail. For side effects of MAOI anti-depressants ... visit Side Effects of MAOI.
Ritalin, an amphetamine, is a drug of choice for hyperactivity and attention deficit disorders. Side effects associated with Ritalin include irritability or anger and loss of appetite.
Many depressed survivors of emotional incest medicate themselves with alcohol, nicotine and illegal drugs. You may call these people addicts - do you not hear their silent screams for help?
Attachment Disorders & Relationship Bonds
Emotional incest is associated with attachment disorders and relationship bonds that can affect all aspects of life. Systemic Solutions offers coaching solutions for:
Behavior: defiant, impulsive, destructive, lies and steals, aggressive and abusive, hyperactive, self-destructive, cruel, irresponsible
Emotions: intense anger, sadness, depressed, hopeless, moody, anxious, irritable
Thoughts: limiting self-beliefs, poor friendship skills, attention and learning problems
Relationships: no trust, controlling, manipulative, unstable relationships, victimizer
Physical: poor hygiene, accidents, dissociated, depressed, hyperactive
Moral/Spiritual: lack of compassion, remorse, meaning, identifies with darkness
Medication is a common way to manage (not cure) these symptoms. Medication is not the only way - but may be the easiest way to manage symptoms. We offer alternative, long-term solutions.
Teenage Sex
... Last year I started having sex with my 37 year old social worker. He told me that he would teach me about sex. He is gentle. He has other young girls - he said he doesn't want a girl over 18. He wants two or three of "his girls" together but I said no to that. I don't know why.
Sexual intercourse with many partners increases the risk of pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases and damaged reproductive health. Studies show that girls who start having sex at young ages often have many sexual partners. Also, teenage girls who have sex with more than one partner over a few weeks are more likely to smoke, drink alcohol, use illegal drugs and / or sniff glue.
These behaviors are likely to hurt a girl's health, education, sport abilities, future partnership and / or future children, unless the behaviors are assimilated and any trauma or guilt dissolved.
... I know lots of girls who are like me but my best friend is more stable. We sometimes sleep together ... people call us bisexual but our boyfriends say its OK. We go to a girl's boarding school ... some days its more like a psychiatric hospital for rich girls. Many of us will only go to university unless our parents bribe somebody ... or we seduce somebody ... it happens a lot.
Medication is not the only way. Our systemic solutions can resolve complex relationship problems. But few people who do not witness our work can imagine that fast, effective resolution is possible.
Coaching Young Adults . Individual Coaching . Couple Coaching . Family Coaching
Systemic Solutions
People who feel abandoned or rejected by parents may become emotional or trance-like if asked about their goals. They may be diagnosed with Depression, Bipolar Disorder or Schizophrenia. They
* avoid finishing projects
* cannot specify congruent goals
* distract themselves with obsessions
* express anxiety and strong emotions
* offer endless excuses for their behavior
Martyn, your article brought flashbacks of my walk on the wild side ... fortunately I was not so creative in self-destruction. I found some healthy mentors and:
* I changed my values and beliefs about who controls my life
* I avoided unfriendly environments and considered seclusion
* I enjoyed the therapeutic roles of nature and a dog named Gigi (see family pets)
* I decided that my life is sacred and that I deserve to be here
I was sick and tired of suffering. I took responsibility for my life and found better options than being a victimizer, a victim or a helper! MB Zagreb, Croatia
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